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An awkward morning beats a boring night.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves.
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.