Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
There should be a law requiring you to explain what gluten is before you’re allowed to complain about it.
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..