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The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
I liked you better before we met.
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.