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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Wow.. I didn`t know spandex could hold that much.
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
have you ever noticed `lol` looks like a drowning person?
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?
Slipped on black ice today, I thought it was regular ice at first, but when I stood up, my wallet was gone.