Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
If you watch the Twilight movies backwards, Kristen Stewart still can`t act.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
The only man worth waiting for is the delivery guy
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
Cops never say “thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. It’s just plain selfish.