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I like the parts of the day when food happens.
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
Good for you, people that do things.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.