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I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
like this if you are against animal cruelty
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
The Family Reunion went pretty good until they all figured out that I wasn`t related to any of them