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I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: “And so should you!”
I`m one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.