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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Helpful Tip: When your wife ask whats on TV, don`t say dust.
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
I will pay good money to anyone who can take me from work, make it look like an abduction and tuck me back into bed.
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.