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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.