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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Is going to bed! Hopefully the Cleaning Fairies will come and clean my house tonight! Wishful Dreaming i guess!
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
Football: 22 people on the field desperately in need of rest and 75,000 in the stands desperately in need of exercise.
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.