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It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they`d lose the alarm and just announce that there`s free food by the stairs.
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
The problem with diets is pizza.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
There`s a pretty good chance I`ll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bites people...
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work