Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Its more like a jar of jalapeños, what you do today can burn your a$$ tomorrow
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
Life`s short ... Drink fast
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.