Daily Silly Status

Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.

superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.

As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.

The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.

I can`t decide what`s more embarrassing - the fact that I still live out of a suitcase, or that I`m a professional ventriloquist dummy.

So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?

Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.

As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.

God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.

Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.

I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.

I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.

Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.

Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)

With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.