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IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.