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Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
Cashiers are always checking me out.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.