Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be "doesn`t know how to follow directions."
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
“That’s funny” is something I say when I can’t even fake a laugh.
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house