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Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
Of course I`m a good mother ... They`re still alive aren`t they.
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and It’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!