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Starting an international incident is number one on my bucket list.
You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
I was doing laundry today and accidentally left out a very large fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...