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"I like tube tops too, but even tires have pressure limits!
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
Scientists have discovered that at least 50 percent of fat people’s BMI is made up of excuses...
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
If A Couple in Love are called Love Birds, then a couple who fight with each other should be called Angry Birds.
Whenever I see a happy couple.... smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love..... I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
Life is like a p@nis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?