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You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
"Did you know that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?"
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
The less you know, the more you think you do.