Daily Silly Status

Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight

E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.

If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.

I bet if you were in a city getting attacked by huge sci-fi monsters youd run and scream but in the back of your mind youd be like “awesome”

Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.

I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P

My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?

eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it

i wonder if fish get thirsty .

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."

Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.

They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness

"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women

I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.