Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
How about this for lazy: I`m letting the NSA take all my selfies for me.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
You had me at 0 mutual friends