Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.