Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
I dont pay for cabs if Iām too drunk to drive. I find the nearest Dominos, order a pizza delivery to my house & ask for a ride home with it.
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but Iām going to be too busy sitting on mine.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.