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Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
lol I rotfl
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
I didn`t think a McDonald`s Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did...OMG, I ATE THE TOY!
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
When the kids come home from school they close the door then almost immediately open another door..... The one to the fridge!!!!
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.