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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
Man cannot live on bread alone ... hence beer and stuff.
Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He`s obviously an undercover cop.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
My friend bought some new floral underwear today. I asked her why she bought `floral` underwear to which she replied "its in memory of all the faces that have been buried there".
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar