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WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
I am used but in good condition.
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
Side effects of telling your wife to get a grip may include throat bruising or testicular swelling.
I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn`t really listening.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!