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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
It`s scientifically proven the more you shut up then the less likely I am to punch you in the face.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
Doormats are a gateway rug.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.