Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Haters are my motivators(:
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.