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Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
Yes, Facebook says we`re `friends` but, trust me, I wouldn`t hesitate to punch you in the face.
I wouldn’t say your ugly, you are just beautichallenged.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.