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Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
There`s always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
This one time, I got trapped inside a couch cushion fort for like 47 days cause I forgot to put a secret door on it.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.
Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!