Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
Does anyone know when is the cut-off date to stop wishing someone Happy New Years?
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
I ordered a pizza when my wife went into labor. Thad ad said, "buy a pizza, and get free delivery.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
The heart wants what the heart wants. *opens 12th beer*
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.