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No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
I wish bedtime was all the time.
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.