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Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
Married 24 years now. All I recall about my wedding day is something about death.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
I wonder if the two guys arguing over r2d2 and roadrunner ever get laid.
If I`m carrying a torch for you it`s only because I want to set you on fire.
Whenever you hear the phrase "Oh no he didn`t" you can rest assured that he did.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
You care so much about me? Keep that sh*t to yourself i got my demons under control