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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people think you`re stupid.
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
I’m tired of things costing money.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.