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No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I wish I had a friend like me
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
My level of sarcasm has reached a dangerous level where even I don`t know if I`m kidding or not.
Nothing says "I`m unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.