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Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.