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How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
Bending over ... preparing to do my taxes.
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.