Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
Bored, so I’m going to find a kid that looks like me and tell him I’m him from the future.
If only mosquitoes sucked fat, instead of blood.
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...