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"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That`s the last time we`re playing Monopoly.
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
Does "who cares" count as advice?
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.