Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
I don`t know why the Petco cashier gave me this look when I asked for the fish`s Birth date.
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don’t have if they are asking me for advice.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day