Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
If your ever wondering who your real friends are all you have to do is delete your facebook account for about week without saying anything and see who calls
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
The first sign of laziness:
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn`t dilute in the shower.
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?