Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I accidentally lit the wrong end of a cigarette-that can`t be healthy!
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
Scared some Jehovah`s Witnesses today by going to the door completely naked. I`m not sure what scared them more, me being totally naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.