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I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I donβt like and assume they deserved it.
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
Netflix doesnβt care if u showered or not
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they`re going to expire in 2017.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
Iβm not shy, Iβm just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
I wish karma would send me email notifications.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?