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It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.