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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
My wife was afraid of the dark......then she saw me naked.........now she is afraid of the light.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.