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Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
Just told my dog "Don`t walk in your own poop" and it strikes me as good advice to pass on to the rest of you as well. Please: don`t.
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.