Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.