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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Honk if you want to see my finger.
Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!