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You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.