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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now I´m good at everything.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
It`s always the darkest before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s the best time to do it.
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
Technically, every picture is a before picture.