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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
Shoutout to my parents for not wearing a condom and creating the most awesome person alive.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.