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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.