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I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
I get so excited when Facebook tells me there are hot singles in my city who want to meet me. Maybe they want to babysit!
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
What`s the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I`m that.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.