Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"