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superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Find someone you`re good at.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
Relationships are like yard sales. They look good from a distance, but once you get there it`s just a bunch of sh!t you don`t really need.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...