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When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
Stress balls work best when you shove them down somebody`s throat.
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I’m not crazy just the voices are!