Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
I don`t get along with Hipster kids. Not a fan of the smell of thrift stores.
Unlike milk, it is perfectly ok to cry over spilled whiskey.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
You had me at, "we`ll make it look like an accident."
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.