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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Remember when the scariest thing we had to deal with was computers forgetting what year it was
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP